Posted on October 8, 2008
I’ve Gotta Have Faith-a, Faith-a, FAITH. AH!
Halloween is coming up and, down in the Bible Belt, that can mean only one thing: the Devil is coming to eat the souls of your children!
Stop laughing! I’m quite serious.
It’s a well known fact that faith, in general, makes people stupid. In the South, however, religion takes people of already questionable intellect and not only makes them dumber, but injects into them a level of righteous indignation that only grows more furious the closer they come to realizing just how stupid they really are.
There’s nothing quite like watching the Holy Rage wash over a redneck when it dawns on him that he’s willingly participating in a societally-accepted form of being an adult who believes in Santa Claus. Read More
Posted on October 6, 2008
Happy Nottaversary!
Today is just another Monday, like a hundred before it and the next hundred still to come. There’s really nothing out of the ordinary about it, but there is some hidden significance to the date.
Today marks my first annual Nottaversary: the day when I celebrate the fact that I’m not celebrating another year of marriage. It’s a whole divorce and former anniversary thing. You single or happily married people wouldn’t understand.
The single people won’t get it because they haven’t ever been married and don’t understand what all the fuss is about. After all, the closest a single person has ever likely come to marriage is arguing with his or her roommates over who had proper legal claim to the last bottle of beer or the fat-free, sugar-free, nutritionally-bereft, single-serving cup of yogurt that one of them specifically squirreled away into a little hidden corner of the refrigerator specifically to keep it out of enemy hands. Single people have the basic mechanics of marriage down, minus the celibacy and withering scorn. Read More
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