Posted on February 10, 2015
Valentines For Married People
Looking for the perfect Valentine’s Day card for that special someone in your life? Then you’ve come to the wrong place! These are for married people.
In what seems to be turning into an annual tradition here, I’ve worked up a stunning new batch of the best expressions of marital love you’ll ever see, just in time for Valentine’s Day! I suggest you send one or all of them to your spouse. Remember: it takes little embers to keep stoked the flames of passion. Or something. Whatever.
I went the meme route this year, as opposed to the someecards direction I took last year. Why? Because variety is the spice of life, and I care enough about my readers to use the very best mostly adequate free software that requires minimal effort on my part. It’s just one of the many ways I work tirelessly to bring you a superior blogging experience.
YOU ARE WELCOME. Read More
Posted on October 22, 2014
Thoughts And Prayers Aren’t Fixing Anything, America
YET ANOTHER UPDATE: After not updating this post to reflect multiple shootings since the one in Charleston (and there have been far too many) because I just couldn’t do it anymore, I’m forced to come back to this post once again due to the latest – and deadliest – mass shooting in America’s history: Las Vegas, Nevada, during a Country Music Festival. When I woke up this morning and heard the news, I started trying to figure out if, with over 50 confirmed dead, this was, in fact, the deadliest mass shooting in the history of our country. The fact that it wasn’t immediately obvious says, I think, a lot. Too much.
ANOTHER DAMN UPDATE: Another day, another shooting in America. This time, it comes just four days after I wrote about guns again. It happened at a church in Charleston, South Carolina, left nine people dead and the gunman got away. And again, it’s being identified by the city it happened in because of course is it. And it’s just “a shooting” and not terrorism because the shooter is white. And he’s a shooter, not a thug. Also because he’s white. And he attacked the congregation of a black church with “Confederate States of America” on his car, but it’s not about race. Because he’s white. In America.
UPDATE: Just two days after I wrote this – two fucking days – and we have another shooting here in America, this time at Marysville-Pilchuck High School, in Marysville, Washington (about an hour north of Seattle). This marks the 87th school shooting since Sandy Hook happened, way back in the distant past of barely two years ago. Go ahead and tell me again about how we don’t need to make it harder to buy firearms because you’re afraid of Obama or don’t feel like filling out some damn paperwork. Go on. I fucking dare you.
This is not about the shooting in Canada. Well it is, but only as a springboard for something else. Something that won’t make me any friends at all here in Pew Pew, Texas… Read More
Posted on October 21, 2014
Great! You voted. Now shut up.
We get it. You voted. We know, because you posted the pictures of you voting to Facebook and Twitter and Instagram and wherever the hell else you could, so that everyone would know that you voted. And that you did it as hard as you could. We’re all very impressed.
Now can you please shut up about it?
For real, though. Just stop talking. I understand that voting makes you feel very accomplished and patriotic and dutiful and any other noble-sounding adjectives you feel like throwing on to the pile, but it doesn’t really mean much of anything. I mean, you do realize that, don’t you?
And no, I’m not going to sit here and preach about how the two party system is an illusion and that all politicians are the same and are controlled by the secret IRS Benghazi Bilderberg Trilateral Illuminati Brotherhood. Or corporations. Or whichever nebulous, creeping evil is creeping nebulously into the trendy-verse today.
What I am going to do is tell you what really matters in a democratic republic, and it’s nothing at all to do with voting. Voting is just the People’s Choice Awards in a three piece suit with a flag pin tacked on. It doesn’t really do anything other than contribute to the validity of the election cycle and perpetuate the myth that going to the polls is The Most Important Thing You Can Do as a citizen.
Hint: It’s not. Read More
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