Please Don’t Squeeze The Libertarians!

NOTE: I wrote this in 2009. It’s 2015 now, and Ted Cruz is running for President in 2016, which makes it relevant again. I guess I knew the Tea Party was coming, but I thought they’d call themselves Libertarians. Semantics can be a pain when predicting the future.

There is a more threatening and pressing concern than the swine flu that sits, meaningly poised to strike at the hearts and minds of Americans – and that’s the creeping menace of Neo-Conservative converts to Libertarianism. It’s starting small, but if you’ll allow me to put on my Amazing Technicolor Prediction Hat, I’ll tell you what’s going to happen in the coming months and years. Spoiler Alert!

I’ve long described myself as a Libertarian, whenever the subject has come up. However, it’s not a terribly accurate description of my political outlook. It’s just a label that much more closely fits me than “Republican” or “Democrat” or, for that matter, liberal or conservative. (And, so far, there isn’t a “Jeffersonian” party that I know of.) I’ve found, over the years when talking with either a Donkey or an Elephant, that if you posit an opposing point to their worldview, both will immediately label you as the enemy and call you whatever it is that they’re not. Democrats will call you a Republican, and conservatives will call you liberal. It’s not their fault, though. It’s all down to conditioning and the Pavlovian response that’s been driven into the heads of us Americans for decades.

Recently, with the Bush-era having ended with a bad aftertaste left on the metaphoric tongue of the nation (and world-at-large), the reign of the Neo-Conservative movement is drawing to a close. Finally, many so-called Conservatives are coming around to the understanding that their chosen party was hi-jacked by fiscally liberal opportunists, and that doesn’t sit too well with them. Throw in the general backlash from an administration that increased spending and the size and influence of government beyond all limits of national endurance, and you have a recipe for lots of rats frantically scurrying for a way off the sinking ship.

Enter Libertarianism. It’s a great party to affiliate oneself with, because it’s not entirely sure what it stands for, and therefore it can stand for anything. There are socially conservative, but fiscally liberal Libertarians. There are the loonies who look and sound like bad ’80s pop-culture depictions of pink-mohawk wearing, punk rocking Anarchists. And then, there are the increasing numbers of Neocon converts. Libertarianism is, for them, a way to express their discontent with the country they’ve built, rather than accept any responsibility for having been part of the problem that got us here. It’s a platform of change for people who don’t really want change, so much as they long for a return to the good old days, but who don’t yet realize that you can never go home again.

The “tea party” phenomenon from earlier this month is an excellent example of the mentality that will lead an increasing number of Conservatives to start labeling themselves as Libertarians – and it’s nothing to do with Constitutionalism or Liberty, and everything to do with the rich and their money. Or, rather, with the phantom monies of the potentially rich…

You see, Americans have been sold a bill of goods called The American Dream that spread through the culture like the Outbreak virus, only Dustin Hoffman never found the monkey and every one of us has been incurably infected. The American Dream has parasitically influenced and governed our collective behavior in much the same way that toxoplasmosis drives rats to walk up to cats, lie down at the mercy of their razor claws, and ask, “What’s for dinner?”

Toxoplasmosis – It’s what’s for dinner!

The American Dream is an ephemeral lie. It is balderdash. A sham. The great and terrible hoax. It is a flight of fancy that is both exhilarating and terrifying, and it is killing us all. The poisonous dream that you will someday be rich is a notion as laughable as it is infuriating, and it’s something that I really wish all of you would just get the Hell over, already. The largest pool of voters comes from America’s middle and lower classes which, unfortunately, have been duped by this whole concept of potential wealth. The fact is, you will probably never be rich – not really rich, anyway. You may do very well for yourself and your family. Heck, you may even make it to upper middle class, and life will be great for you. However, the fact that the most heavily taxed Americans are also the richest is something that terrifies you, because you cling to the impotent notion that you will one day be able to count yourself in their number. Some of you probably already do, but that’s something that’s even sadder and more depressing, and I don’t want to talk about it.So, rather than vote towards your best interests for policies and programs that would benefit you with direct tax-cuts and other incentives, you’ll vehemently oppose any action that might “fleece the rich” because you live your life under the constant and inescapable delusion that you’ll get there one day, and be rich yourself. You won’t!

The sad reality of the situation is that roughly, only the top 1% of Americans own 34% of the wealth in this country. Those are the rich people. One percent. ONE! Do you really think you’re ever going to leave 99% of the country eating your dust as you climb the ladder of fortune and get to the top rung? Do you? Seriously? At most, the best you can probably ever hope to achieve is reaching the top 19%, which controls around 50% of the wealth. This would be your upper, upper middle-class: the ones with impressive stock portfolios and respectable bank statements and investments – which amounts to a lot of Americans – but not too many. This nineteen percent reflects the ultimate realization of The American Dream for most people who allow at least a hint of realism to enter into their fantasies. Still, when you’re in the top 20%, whether it be the top 1 or bottom 19, you can afford to be taxed. Your bank statements may suffer a bit, but you’ll still live in a nice, big house and drive a nice, big car and spend lots of nice, big money. Your statement may suffer a bit, but you won’t have to worry about pesky, nuisance problems like food and clothing and shelter. Those are the sorts of worries that happen to other people.

Those other people are the rest of America – where most of you are, and where most of you will stay for your entire lives. It is made up of 80% of the population, all scrounging and competing for the woeful scraps that the other 20% have left behind. You will be left to try and carve out a place for yourself in this world as you compete with 4/5ths of the total population of the country for 15% of the remaining wealth. To put it another way, if that 15% were divided equally amongst 80% of the population, that would give each and every one of you about .2% of what the rich leave you. Of course, nothing is divided equally, so you might do better, or you might do worse – and that’s the true American Dream, my friends: if you study and work hard, you have a chance at making your life just a little less shitty than the other guy’s. Isn’t it a beautiful thing?

You’re the part that doesn’t look like Pac-man. You know, the bit he’s about to eat…

So where does this put me on the political spectrum? Am I really a Libertarian, or do I just play one on tv? Like I said, I would be a Jeffersonian, if such a party existed. The truth is, I’m a strong believer in personal liberty and personal responsibility, and I think the government has little right to meddle in the affairs of its citizens. (I’m also firmly against bailouts and corporations being granted the rights of an individual, but – once again – that’s a topic for later discussion.) Government should exist as a function of the people, not the other way around. However, there are some things that government just does better than private industry, so I don’t follow the Ayn Rand school of extremist thought that free market capitalism and global privatization are the keys to a Utopia. No, if the recent Neocon push towards privatization is any indication, then privatizing certain things is a very, very bad idea.

Governments should build and supply the things of this world that are not commodities to be traded. Business exists to make money – and, in the current economical model of fractional reserve banking, the stability of any enterprise (including our nation, but that’s a whole other discussion) is dependent upon sustained growth. It’s a function of this exponential treadmill we’re on that demands a constant increase in profits, just to break even. If we don’t keep moving – if we don’t constantly buy and sell and spend and run the debt race – we’ll fall off, and that will be the end of the American story. So, strap on your sneakers and start running. Just remember: those bastards set the treadmill to move a little faster every damned year, so by the time your kids are on it, the thing will be set to Ludicrous Speed and their little legs may explode.

Take the privatization of the prison system as an example. Privatizing it suddenly creates a commodity of the convicted felon and, being as the prison system is now a private enterprise, there must be continued and sustained growth to keep it solvent. The only way to ensure this growth is to feed a constant supply of new prisoners into the system, which translates into increased arrests, increased trials, and increased convictions. As such, the scheme of privatizing eventually comes back to bite the Neoconservative/Libertarian on the ass, because in order to feed the beast created by a private prison system, we have to always be creating new criminals – and the cheapest, easiest way to do that is with new laws that will inevitably limit the very personal liberties and freedoms that Libertarians hold so dear. When the very prison system that was privatized on the notion of free market capitalism and the superior function of the individual liberty of private enterprise starts to encroach on personal liberties and freedoms, there’s a dissonance there that can’t be resolved, and an equation that can’t be balanced on either side.

Other places where government belongs is in schools, city planning and management, utilities, and in any other capacity or function that endeavors to provide a service, rather than a commodity for profit. Free market capitalism works in a great many areas, and the competition it creates is generally good for everyone. (Until it isn’t, and the whole beast comes around to choke on its own behemoth tail – but, again, that’s a whole other discussion.) However, to believe that privatization is the magic pill for what ails us is a concept whose time has come and gone, hopefully forever.

Unfortunately, a lot of damage was left in the wake of the Neocon era, and it’s left to us to clean it up. It falls to us to set things right, and steer this Titanic of a nation away from the iceberg we’ve been barreling into for the past several decades. And by us, I mean you. And by you, I mean the majority of Americans. And, by majority of Americans, I mean the poorest, most trampled on 80% of the population. And you need to do it with only 15% of the country’s wealth. And, you need to do it all by yourselves – because the rich aren’t going to help you. Well, not unless somebody makes them, anyway. You know, like with taxes.

Community Chest: Bailout! Collect 85 Billion Dollars!

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NOTE:  I know times are hard and yeah, I need to make a living too, but if you want to read any of my books but can't afford to buy them right now, hit me up.

I'll take care of it.

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