Posted on July 23, 2009
Purple Is The New Red. And Blue.
I have a love/hate relationship with zealotry. On the one hand, watching fist-shaking hardliners trying to resolve cognitive dissonance by flopping about like a spilled bowl of goldfish is funny as hell. On the other hand, the world wouldn’t be in quite so miserable a state if people would just stop clinging to blocky, ill-defined ideologies handed down to them through the talking head punditry of an ever-devolving media. I despise both left-wingers and right-wingers alike, and for the same reason: choosing sides is stupid. The world isn’t cut and divided into equal parts Conservative or Liberal, and all of the issues facing a nation can’t be contained within the bullshit, ticky-tacky structures of either party. Joining the card-carrying and waterheaded ranks of either the Democrats or the Republicans simply dissolves critical thought and excuses mindless adoption of whatever mushbrained, poorly conceived policies either side may be peddling at any given time. As with sports, party loyalty has nothing to do with the players on the field, or the outcome of the game. All it does is provide a sense of belonging for the non-participants, by dividing them into two groups, each united together out of a mutual hatred for the other side. And, all the while, the game plays on without them. Read More
Posted on July 14, 2009
The Odious Stench Of Burning Flesh, or Summertime In The South!
I’m not sure what weather conditions are like in whatever part of the world it is that you find yourself as you read this, but things are pretty miserable around here. For those who don’t know, I live Deep In The Heart Of Texas. Well, maybe not quite so near the heart, if you want to be specific about your lyrical metaphors. If, for example, the heart is roughly around the center of the state’s anthropomorphized body, then my city would be located somewhere in its pelvic region. It would be deep, though. Very deep. Gastrointestinaly deep, along the lines of a lower intestinal blockage in the Lone Star State’s digestive tract. Deep In The Heart Of Sewage! Read More
Posted on July 13, 2009
Where’s The Decade?
I had dinner this weekend with my Godson, who I’m certain was born only a few years ago, yet he seems to be starting high school this year. He is already enrolled in driver’s education, and his existence makes me feel old. Time is a funny thing. It passes by painfully slowly when we’re young, but picks up steam as we move along. Our teen years pass by a little faster than our naughts, and our twenties (if we’re doing them right) move by in a blur, accelerated by oceans of alcohol, endless parties, and way too much sex. Before we know it, we’re in our thirties and looking back on a confusing haze we call the past, where everything seems to be just a little bit closer than it actually is. What looks like yesterday was actually last year, and what looks like last year was, in fact, a couple of decades ago. It’s a confusing endeavor, getting older. Read More
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