Posted on October 28, 2009
Hitched!
I’m writing this at noon on Wednesday, October 28, 2009 and I have been a married man for three days, seventeen hours and thirty minutes – but who’s counting? I’d love to say that it’s been a great few days and some-odd hours, but I’d also love to say that I have adamantium bones and can fly. Some things just ain’t true, no matter how much we might want them to be. And, to say that the past three days, seventeen hours and thirty minutes of my life have been spent enraptured by the warm and glorious embrace of matrimonial bliss would be like standing at the tippity-top of Liar’s Mountain to shout fictitious truths down at the heart of the world. The sad reality is that, for the past three days, seventeen hours and thirty minutes, I have been living a Greek tragedy. Read More
Posted on October 22, 2009
Mawwiage, That Bwessed Awwangement!
The wedding is almost here, and we’re only two days away from “that dweam within a dweam”, despite what the neurotic countdown clock in my sidebar is telling you. This essay will be my last as a single man. The next time you hear from me, I will be shackled to the keyboard as a husband, the obligatory ball and chain fastened to my ankle and chaffing my delicate skin. Fortunately, I’ve never found staying faithful to be difficult, as it’s only my eyes that occasionally wander, not my pee-pee. Also, Brittany is pretty good with a knife… Read More
Posted on October 16, 2009
Life, Death, And God’s Texas Jury
I have a fantasy that comes to me in my dreams at night, and then lingers in the corners of my mind throughout the long shadows of the day. It is a wondrous dream, filled with hope and elation and, eventually, bitter resentment and terrible regret. In my dreamworld, I live and work and walk amongst a citizenry composed of my peers, who see the world though a lens of reality and who pursue Truth in life through rational thought and logic. We work together in this Utopia to solve the world’s problems, to help lift up its less fortunate and to rip down its tyrants. It is a magical land, where happiness is attainable through merit and where superstition has been replaced with reason. Then, I wake up and realize I’m still in Texas. Dammit! Read More
You must be logged in to post a comment.