Posted on October 22, 2009
Mawwiage, That Bwessed Awwangement!
The wedding is almost here, and we’re only two days away from “that dweam within a dweam”, despite what the neurotic countdown clock in my sidebar is telling you. This essay will be my last as a single man. The next time you hear from me, I will be shackled to the keyboard as a husband, the obligatory ball and chain fastened to my ankle and chaffing my delicate skin. Fortunately, I’ve never found staying faithful to be difficult, as it’s only my eyes that occasionally wander, not my pee-pee. Also, Brittany is pretty good with a knife… Read More
Posted on October 16, 2009
Life, Death, And God’s Texas Jury
I have a fantasy that comes to me in my dreams at night, and then lingers in the corners of my mind throughout the long shadows of the day. It is a wondrous dream, filled with hope and elation and, eventually, bitter resentment and terrible regret. In my dreamworld, I live and work and walk amongst a citizenry composed of my peers, who see the world though a lens of reality and who pursue Truth in life through rational thought and logic. We work together in this Utopia to solve the world’s problems, to help lift up its less fortunate and to rip down its tyrants. It is a magical land, where happiness is attainable through merit and where superstition has been replaced with reason. Then, I wake up and realize I’m still in Texas. Dammit! Read More
Posted on October 6, 2009
Bloggin’ Regulation!
The Federal Trade Commission has decided that bloggers blogging on their blogs need to be bloggin’ regulated, or there’ll be Hell to bloggin’ blog about, by Blog!
The ever-lovin’, blue-eyed Thing FTC has apparently grown tired of the grassroots, open source mentality that drives writing on the Internet, and so took steps on Monday to bring all the free speech buzzing around on the highways and byways of the Information Superhighway under some sort of federally regulated control. I suspect the blogosphere will be swelling and undulating with indignant rage over it, and we here at Coquetting Tarradiddles would be the first to board the hate train and angrily toot the fury whistle as we pull away from the station, riding on rails driven white-hot by the tempestuous friction of our discontent – if only we weren’t paralyzed by simply not caring. Read More
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