Posted on November 17, 2009
The Sneakiest Place On Earth!
Brittany and I are taking Trey to Walt Disney World in January, and I couldn’t be more excited about the trip if I were jumping around in stacks of cash with bells on and a naked Eliza Dushku cheering from the sidelines. He’s at the perfect age for his first trip to the “Happiest place on Earth” (note: Yes, I know that’s Disneyland’s tag line, but Disney World is better. Deal with it.). Everything will be truly real and amazing to his wide and eager eyes, and there’s no end to the childhood magic that Walt Disney World (WDW) can evoke. It’s no secret that I love WDW, but my excitement for the trip has been slightly spoiled by the unsavory realization that Disney is greedy, vicious, and manipulative bunch of bastards. Well no, I knew that already – but this time, they’ve gone too far. Read More
Posted on November 12, 2009
With Love, From Grumpy McGrumpGrump
Today’s essay was originally going to be about a subject near and dear to my heart but, for whatever reason, I don’t feel like writing about how hard rock and heavy metal could heal the world right now. (No, it’s not as preposterous a thesis as it sounds, except that it is. Only, it isn’t.) Currently, I find myself mired in the miserable funk of an exhausting depression for which no one cause can be either blamed or cited, and that has transported my consciousness to an ethereal plane of nihilistic hopelessness. Ok, so maybe it’s not quite as dramatic as all that, but whatever you think of my prose, the end result is the same: I’m in a bad mood. Read More
Posted on November 10, 2009
Criminality Gave Trey The Pink Eye!
The perilous landscape of daycare is fraught with danger at every turn. There’s the big kid who steals the bouncy balls from smaller kids, then laughs with delight as they cry bitter tears of crestfallen shame. There’s the stinky kid, whose parents believe that baths are things that happen to other people, and then there are kids like the boy with the perpetually snotty nose, the girl who’s discovered the childhood art of gleeking and so goes about misting everyone with her saliva, and the guy in who sits in the corner eating paste and licking his shoes. It is not a place for the timid or the easily infected, as all manner of disease and malfeasance run rampant through the echoing corridors of any given daycare facility. Recently, and sadly, Trey fell victim to one of the most pernicious and omnipresent forces of darkness that daycare buildings harbor like unseen bacterial terrorists: he came down with pink eye. Read More
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