Posted on December 3, 2009
Twice As Close, Or Your Money Back!
Embracing the dynamic spirit of the American dream and throwing caution to the wind, I recently decided it was time for a change. Just a little change, mind you. An insignificant one at best, but substantial enough to raise the eyebrows and lower the expectations of those around me, at least so far as their perception of my age is concerned. I didn’t set out to take a few years of the clock and pursue that most elusive and costly of American ideals by chasing the dragon of eternal youth, but what I did to myself seems to have had that effect. Like I said, it was a minor thing and nothing to write home about, but even the tiniest of pebbles and all that… Read More
Posted on December 1, 2009
Turkeys And Assassinations At Christmastime, With Dysentery!
I was giving thanks last week, all last week and to no one in particular. It was just a general blanket sort of thank you to the universe at large, I guess. Mostly, it involved me not doing any work whatsoever, hence the lack of new essays right here at Coquetting Tarradiddles. I did eat a lot, however, which turned out to be sort of like work after the fourth trip to the leftover pantry. Fortunately, gratuitous mastication seems to somehow indicate gratitude around this time of year, as long as dead turkey flesh and various casseroles are involved. In any event, I was otherwise occupied and I slipped out the back door when it came time to post last week’s essays. I’m back today though, so be thankful! Read More
Posted on November 19, 2009
BREAKING NEWS!
Brittany and I were not married on October 24, 2009, at least so far as Barbara Ann Radnofsky would have us believe. Babs is running for Texas Attorney General on the Democratic ticket, and she’s just announced that Texas banned ALL marriage way back in two thousand and five, when the Lone Star State of Stupid passed a constitutional amendment intended to ban gay marriages. It turns out that there’s a little clause in the amendment that reads, “This state or a political subdivision of this state may not create or recognize any legal status identical or similar to marriage.” That’s right – in an effort to rule out potential massaging of the language and prevent things like civil unions and domestic partnerships, the state of Texas has ratified itself into a corner. It cannot technically grant legal marriages to anyone. Anyone! Read More
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