Posted on January 6, 2010
24 Hours Of Driving And Thriving
I’m afraid I don’t have much energy to devote to much of anything tonight, creative or otherwise. Regrettably, the long drive sapped the entire family of our residual strength and we’ve spent the past twenty-four hours running on little more than fumes. Once we were finally able to get on the road after the unfortunate eight hour delay we were forced to endure, we made an arduous sixteen hour journey across the country, through the nation’s bowels of Louisiana, Mississippi and Arkansas before finally settling deep into The Great American Urethra, otherwise known as the state of Florida. Every wannabe stand-up comic may have already made the Florida-as-penis joke far too many times than I’d like to explore, but the joke is a cliche because it’s true. The state is a giant, flaccid phallus that dangles off the edge of the country and metaphorically pisses the waste of North America into the warm and salty waters of the Atlantic Ocean, only nobody really cares because, well, it’s Florida! The country, after all, likely has low expectations of a state that brought us both pregnant chads and a governor named Jeb. And, let’s face it, aside from Disneyworld and NASA, the best Florida ever had to offer died with the cancellation of The Golden Girls. Read More
Posted on January 4, 2010
The Disappointment Of Devolution
I know it’s Monday and I’m posting ahead of schedule, but there are extenuating circumstances. You see, in an unfortunate turn of events, we were unable to leave this morning as we’d originally planned. In fact, it’s going on two o’clock now and we still haven’t left, nor do we expect to for several more hours, owing to the fact that Trey is still with his father, presumably somewhere in the skies above Colorado right now. Unfortunately, despite having made and agreed to plans months in advance that he bring Trey back home by ten o’clock this morning, his father is citing airline difficulties as the reason for the delay. However, a quick check of the Denver International Airport (DIA) website seems to indicate that there are no such delays. There was one slight delay of one flight due to maintenance issues, but if he had tickets to that flight, one could reasonably conclude that he would have actually boarded it whenever the maintenance was completed. No, instead he has told us that he was moved to another airline entirely with a departure time roughly five hours later, regardless of the fact that there are several flights from multiple airlines leaving earlier, and none of them are showing significant delays. A quick call to DIA confirmed all of this, as the representative advised us that there was no reason he would be moved to a noon flight, rather than simply board his original airplane after the slight delay. Of course, his refusal to supply the flight number of what he claims was his original flight makes a lot of this mere speculation on my part, but I’m left questioning the need for secrecy on his part, assuming he harbors no intent to deceive. Read More
Posted on December 31, 2009
Christmas: The Conclusion
It’s New Year’s Eve, and our grand plans to welcome in 2010 involve nothing more than junk food, our pajamas and whatever random movies on Netflix and Zune seem vaguely interesting. Trey is in Colorado visiting his father’s side of the family, but whilst one may think us eager to go out on a baby-free night of celebratory bliss, we’re just too damned tired. The holiday season took its toll on both our bodies as well as our house, and we’re busily spending the next few days in a frantic clean-a-thon before heading out to Disneyworld next week. I think I’m mostly to blame for the chaotic state of disarray of the homestead, although I’m loathe to admit it. I hardly feel any guilt about it, of course, seeing as how the lion’s share of clutter was a direct result from the Christmas extravaganza Brittany and I put together for Trey. Yes, I went a little overboard – but it was our first Christmas together as a family, and I can’t be held responsible for the egregious scattering of various toys and boxes simply because I was overemotional about the whole thing. Trust me, I’ve already paid the price for my enthusiastic over-giving. I had to put everything together! Read More
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