Posted on April 22, 2010
Money. It’s a gas!
I’ll be brief today, but not out of some kind of misguided sense of loyalty to the unwritten Internet law that says anything longer than two paragraphs will be ignored by 98% of waterheaded netizens. Instead, it all comes down to time and money, and the lack thereof. It’s no great secret that the slow decay of my strange and lunatic first marriage left my personal finances in a state not altogether different from the emotional scarring one might associate with prison rape, and I’m still recovering from the fiscal damage almost a decade after having said “I do” rather than “Oh, hell no!” And, after the unfortunate experience I recently endured at the merciless hands of Beaumont ISD’s mystical payroll voodoo magic that exploited my good nature to rob me of two week’s pay, things are looking pretty grim on the money side of my pursuit of happiness. It has been, after all, a month and a half since I last saw a full paycheck bounce gleefully into the plus column of my bank account, while the minus side has been sitting there growing ever fatter on a high interest diet of endless withdrawals, all the while smiling at me in the same sinister way a spider might look at a fly before offering it a nice (if sticky) bed for the night. From within you, it devours… Read More
Posted on April 13, 2010
The KFC Double Down, With Minor Parenting
I’ll start today off by pointing out the obvious, in that the Coquetting Tarradiddles you are currently reading does not look exactly like the Coquetting Tarradiddles you’re used to reading. I assure you, this is entirely intentional. I’ve been doing a little bit of housekeeping (even those of us gifted with superhuman mutant powers aren’t immune to tidying up the place now and again), and I decided to stop featuring one full essay with each update. Instead, I’ve chosen to list the three latest entries, broken up into their first paragraphs and slathered all over the main page for you to click through. Just hit the READ MORE >> link at the end of the summary, and you’ll pull up the entire essay. It’s a pretty standard setup, and should be familiar to anyone who’s come anywhere near a computer and the Internet within the past decade or so. I’ll be doing more work to the site’s design in the coming days, but I can’t guarantee that I’ll stay with Blogger/Blogspot much longer. After spending some time with WordPress recently, I’ve come to the mournful conclusion that Blogger is entirely staffed by waterheaded hipsters who are so hopelessly mired in their own hubris that they can’t be bothered to notice that their technology is aging about as gracefully as a bacon-wrapped cantaloupe sandwiched between two sweaty loaves of cavernous ass cheeks. In less colorful terms: Blogger is archaic, non-functional and covered in that special kind of mold that’s just as likely to cure a staph infection as it is to drive you towards a Salem witch trial level of insanity. Also, it smells like bacon butt. (Ok, see that innocent looking, all-caps hyperlink right after this sentence that says “READ MORE >>” – click it and you can, amazingly enough, read more!) Read More
Posted on April 9, 2010
Here’s The Mail, It Never Fails
I didn’t write anything yesterday, because I simply haven’t had time to get everything accomplished and something had to slip. This week, I chose Coquetting Tarradiddles. Next week, I’ll choose something else. However, since I am not without compassion or at least a work ethic best described as Puritanical, I can’t let a week slip by without posting two new entries. So, while this is a little late and sort of recycled (and because copying-and-pasting an e-mail takes all of five seconds), I’m making amends today by posting my response to an e-mail sent to me by a very close friend whom I both respect and admire, but that can be insufferably stubborn about her own wrongness, sometimes. In her e-mail, she sent me a link to a recent column in Pravda titled, “American capitalism gone with a whimper” – it’s entertaining. Go give it a read, then come back here and bear witness to my impassioned rant response: Read More
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