Coquetting Tarradiddles

Authentic Cajun Gumbo: It’s Okay To Cheat

I like checking out YouTube and the rest of the internet every now and then, just to see how wrong some people can get their gumbo recipes. I don’t know why watching abject failure is fun for me, but at least I limit it to gumbo. There are worse ways to pass a few minutes, you know.

Oh, hey. Before I get into a long, involved story about the time a bowl of gumbo saved my life when I was a Dickensian street urchin working the coal mines, you can skip straight to the recipe here. You’re welcome.

I’m all for quick and easy gumbo, though. Cheat Gumbo, you can call it. You don’t have to make your own roux if you don’t want to. You don’t even have to chop your own vegetables or cook any chicken. There are ways. Sadly, most of the methods you’ll find on the internet are just too lazy.

Everyone knows the key to cooking up a great gumbo is the roux. The reason purists will tell you it’s important to make your own isn’t because slowly cooking up your own oil and flour combo is better than using someone else’s pre-cooked oil and flour combo. In the end, the roux will pretty much taste the same.

Nope, the difference is what you do with the roux. If you make your own, what you do when it’s ready is toss in your holy trinity (onion, celery, bell pepper) and saute those veggies right in the roux since it’ll be roughly the temperature at the heart of a dying star at that point. That’ll flavor up the roux and the veggies, and you’ll have a great base to build the rest of your pot on.

However, what almost everyone on the internet says to do with jar roux just makes my heart sad. They all want you to dissolve it in boiling water and then dump all your raw ingredients into the pot after its boiled for a couple of hours or so. No. No, no, no. You can make a pretty decent watery gumbo-flavored soup this way, but no. You’re not making Gumbo with the capital G. You gotta earn that.

My way is less lazy but just as easy, and you’ll end up with a very flavorful stew, like how Gumbo should be. (See? Capital G right there.) Here’s how.

Buy you some store-bought roux. I like Savoie’s, but really, it’s all just oil and flour anyway. Buy whichever one you want. (If you get to making your own roux, you can use vegetable oil if you want, but never use olive oil. I don’t care what the cooking show chef on your talking box said. Don’t do it. Also, if you want a really great roux, use bacon grease or lard for your oil. Trust me. Equal parts oil and flour, cook over medium heat stirring constantly until you get a rich, chocolate color. Simple.)

Toss that roux in a big pot you’re gonna cook up the gumbo in. I use a whole jar for my pot, so the rest of this super easy recipe will follow that. Add a little oil to it if you need to (jar roux will be very, very dense and dry) and put it over a low heat, stirring constantly until it’s all smooth. After that, keep the heat on low and stir it regularly while you do the next steps. (The reason jar users don’t saute their vegetables in the roux is because it’s already cooked and pretty easy to burn if you try to bring it all the way up to temperature from the get-go. That’s why I bring the roux up slowly over a low heat while I do the other stuff.)

The sausage! Use whatever sausage you want. My favorite won’t be your favorite, so pick what you like. I recommend a sausage that tastes red because sausage that tastes too brown just screws everything up. (Shout out to all my synesthesia folks out there who understand what I’m talking about.) Cut it into thick slices, dump the slices into a separate pan, and brown them up on both sides. (The Maillard reaction brings out extra flavor.) When you’re done with that, dump the sausage into a bowl or some other kind of temporary container.

Stir that roux a bit.

Without taking your now empty pan (except for some grease and a bunch of bits stuck to the bottom) off the heat, toss in your veggies (or, if you want to be extra lazy like me, you can buy a “seasoning blend” of veggies in your grocer’s freezer section that’ll be just fine as long as it’s got onions, celery, and bell peppers). Dump in the whole 24oz bag, and cook them until they’re nice and cooked down and soft. Nobody wants crunchy veggies in their gumbo.

Stir that roux a bit.

When you dump the veggies in the sausage pan, the moisture will deglaze it and bring all that goodness up that was stuck on the bottom. You should also have plenty of grease from the sausage to cook up the veggies. (All this adds flavor, you know.)

Stir that roux a bit. Go ahead and turn the heat up to a low medium while you’re at it.

When your veggies are ready, dump them a little at a time into the gumbo pot with the roux. Stir it all together, then add a little more. (If your roux starts to seize up on you, just add a little oil.) Keep stirring the veggies in until you have all you want in there. (I usually have, I dunno, maybe 1/3 to 1/2 of a cup left over.)

Stir the roux and veggies up a minute, then dump in the sausage and stir it all together. Now add a couple of boxes of chicken stock. Just dump it in, stir everything around, and make sure everything is all nice and smooth and the roux has completely dissolved.

You should season up the liquid now with some salt and pepper. Don’t add any “Cajun spice” blends, though. That’s just dumb and you don’t need them. Instead, add a couple of teaspoons of filé to the pot and stir it up. (It’s just ground sassafras. Nothing fancy.) The filé will not only flavor your Gumbo (ooooh, that capital G is back now), it’ll also help thicken it a little to just the right amount. Maybe start with 1.5 teaspoons, although you can always add a little water to the pot later if it gets too thick.

After you get that done, try and get at least three pounds of meat off a few fully cooked rotisserie chickens, shred it, and toss it in the pot. This is the fastest/easiest/laziest way, and it still tastes great. The best way is to marinate some boneless chicken thighs – skip the white meat entirely – overnight then season them up and bake ’em in the oven. (Or the quickest (but less flavorful) way is to just boil them in water with salt and pepper, some dried oregano, a couple of bay leaves, and half an onion (no need to chop it). But if you’re really lazy, just pick up some thighs from Popeyes, take the skin off and chunk them into the pot (just be warned your chicken will be a little dry this way.)

I like to add some finely chopped garlic just before I toss in the chicken, by the way. I don’t saute it first because it’ll be plenty hot enough to cook it in the pot, and I want the flavor that comes from tossing it in this way. If you’d like a more mellow garlic, saute it first or just sprinkle in some garlic powder. I don’t care. Some people like to add a bay leaf at this point because I guess they think it does a damn thing, so go on ahead and do that if you want to plant a tree in your pot. I don’t think it brings anything to the party though, so I don’t invite it to mingle.

Anyway, now all you gotta do is let that simmer (bring it to just below a boil, then turn the heat down to a low simmer) for however long you want. The longer you go, the more flavor you’ll get, but it’ll be ready to eat whenever you decide you can’t wait anymore. (And it’ll be even better the next day and the day after that and the day after that…)

If I’m gonna put rice in my gumbo, I like to serve it on the side to add to my bowl as I go. Honestly though, rice is just a stretcher to make thin, watery gumbo last longer and serve more. My Gumbo is thicker – but not too thick – and is more of a rich stew, so you really don’t need the rice. Have some if you want, though. I’m not the boss of you.

Okay, now here’s the quick version for everyone who just jumped straight to the bottom of the post for the recipe. You jerks.

Chicken and Sausage Gumbo
Lazy Cheater’s Recipe

• 1 16oz jar of dark roux (or 2 cups oil and 2 cups flour; protip – (lard and/or bacon grease is great; or use Bacon-Up in a pinch)
• 1 24oz bag frozen seasoning blend (or chop your own: equal parts onions, celery, bell pepper)
• 2 pounds of sausage, sliced (you can add more, but not less)
• 3-5 pounds of chicken (again, you can add more, but not less – also, I recommend boneless, skinless thighs)
• 96 ounces (three 32-ounce boxes) chicken stock or broth (you can grab an extra box to have on hand if you need more liquid, or you could always just add some water)
• However many cloves of garlic you want, finely chopped
• 2 teaspoons gumbo filé (or a lot more, if you prefer — I go with a lot more)
• Bay leaves

Caution: You really need a large stockpot for this. If you just have a normal pot, it’s fine. But you’ll probably want to halve everything.

Cook your chicken first, however you like – or you can get some fully cooked rotisserie chickens and use those. I like chicken thighs, myself – boneless, skinless. You can cook them in a pan, in the oven, on the grill, however you like. Just remember to season them first (after marinating them, if you’re extra). Once cooked, just shred them with a couple of forks or, if you spend too much time on TikTok, use a hand mixer on them. There are no rules here.

In a large pot, add the jar of roux and maybe a little oil (if you want to stir it a little more easily before it’s heated up) over low heat, stirring constantly until smooth. (Stir occasionally after that, while you do the next steps.) If you’re making your own roux and you’re not experienced, you might want to save this step for after your sausages are done.

Cut sausage into slices and brown in separate pan. When browned on both sides, remove from the pan (but leave the grease), put it in a temporary container and set to the side.

In the same pan you used for the sausage, saute seasoning blend (onions, celery, and bell peppers) until well cooked and soft.

(If you’re making your own roux, do it now.)

Add veggies to large pot with roux a little at a time, kind of like you’re tempering chocolate. Add sausage to pot and increase heat to medium, stirring constantly.

Pour in chicken stock. Stir until roux dissolves completely. Season with salt and pepper. Add chopped garlic and filé, then put down that jar of “Cajun spice” I know you’re about to try and sprinkle in there. I can see you. Trust me, you don’t need it. Just stir your pot.

Add chicken, bring to just below a boil, then reduce heat and simmer with a couple of dried bay leaves until you can’t stand it anymore. The longer the better, but I’ll understand if you just can’t wait.

Eat.

We Are Not Okay: Southwest Louisiana After Laura. And Delta. And Covid. (Oh, my!)

One of the most frustrating things about going through Laura and Delta and then hearing everyone who’s ever been through any hurricane tell you how much they understand and how similar their storm was as they offer up unsolicited advice on how to recover is that their recoveries had different rules. Literally.

Insurance has changed. FEMA assistance has changed. All aid policies have changed. The help simply isn’t there anymore, and what little remains has been significantly minimized to the point of being effectively useless.

Insurance policies are underpaying (when they pay at all), charging separate deductibles for each storm through a legal loophole, requiring absurd levels of documentation and evidence of damages to such ridiculous extremes that simply going through the effort of providing such evidence would end up costing people more than if they just replaced the items on their own, all while denying every claim they can as desk adjusters reevaluate the determinations made by their own field adjusters and reduce their findings in favor of the insurance companies.

FEMA only steps in if you don’t have insurance, which automatically excludes all the people who already aren’t getting the coverage they’ve paid for. When it does help, the funds are small and aid is slow to come, if it comes at all.

There have been no significant national fundraisers to help Southwest Louisiana like there were after other storms hit more recognizable cities. Charitable organizations lack donations and volunteers to be able to effectively help people. The rest of the nation has moved on and assumes everything is back to normal here.

It isn’t.

Remember, while the same area getting hit by two separate hurricanes within weeks of each other itself is unprecedented, all of this is happening in the middle of an ongoing pandemic that had already decimated the nation’s economy months earlier and absolutely devastated local economies nationwide.

People just don’t have the money to spend after months of covid along with two evacuations and two rounds of rebuilding. Local businesses don’t have the money to rebuild and resupply their stocks. Thousands of workers are unable to work, due either to their places of employment being closed or destroyed, or to the complete lack of anywhere to live if their homes were significantly damaged.

Lake Charles, a working-class city of roughly 78,000 people, has been eviscerated by Hurricanes Laura and Delta. Thousands of residents remain displaced, and the dire needs of the city have been overlooked. https://t.co/SpVSAOkh1r

— The New York Times (@nytimes) October 20, 2020

There are no available hotel rooms, with the few operational places booked solid. There are no available rental properties, and what few remain have doubled or tripled their rents. Trailers, campers, and RVs are impossible to find and cost a small fortune if you’re lucky enough to stumble upon a battered up and heavily used model just to have some kind of roof over your head.

It’s an awful situation and no one has been through it before. No one has been through two back-to-back hurricanes before, with one being on record as the strongest storm to ever hit the state. No one has done it in the middle of a global pandemic. And no one has done it since all the laws and policies were quietly changed to favor corporate interests after previous storms cost them too much.

See beyond your own experience and realize the world has changed since whatever words of advice or criticism you had to offer were relevant. If you’re willing to actually help us, you are most welcome here. If not, we’d all very much appreciate it if you’d just shut up.