Coquetting Tarradiddles

The Trouble With Integrity

Among all the lies we teach our children in Kindergarten, the most pernicious is the value of integrity. We tell them they should share and play fair when their only objects of desire are whichever toy they’re playing with at any given moment, or the prized plastic shovel the kid who licks his shoes keeps hogging over in the sandbox. We teach them the Golden Rule and tell them to treat others as they would want to be treated. We tell them the world is just, that goodness is its own reward, and that virtue always wins. Basically, we take every decent value of the human condition and slam it like a shiv in the prison yard directly through the anterior fontanelle of their soft little heads – and we do this because it makes them compliant and easier to raise.

Once they get older, they start to learn the real values in life from watching us. They see that we don’t play fair, they hear their parents screaming about the redistribution of wealth, and that sharing is for suckers and caring is for libtards. We show them that the universe isn’t fair, that it’s better to sucker punch the other guy square in the jaw before he ever sees you coming, and that every single value we told them was important in Kindergarten doesn’t mean a high hill of shit in the real world. Read More