I spend some of my time over in another corner of the Internet, where a few writerly type folk gather together to exchange ideas, discuss events and sometimes fling insults across cyberspace like little yellow snowballs. It’s a good time. Recently, the topic of conversation there shifted to copyright law, theft, comic books and a new horror unleashed upon the world called a virtual library. It seems there’s a website out there on the interwebs that openly hosts copyrighted material for which it has no claim, then justifies the theft by using a little legal voodoo to massage and manipulate an absurd conclusion drawn from United States library laws. I will not provide a link to the site here for obvious reasons, nor will I mention it by name – but rest assured, it exists and it’s out there on the world wide web, providing free and unrestricted access to nearly seven million pages of comics. SEVEN MILLION!
That’s seven million pages that have been written, seven million pages that have been penciled, seven million pages that have been inked, lettered, colored, printed, bound, distributed and marketed by a great many people – all of whom are affected by the theft of their work. There’s a certain broken mentality these misguided people cling to that attempts to excuse away their thieving behavior through rationales varying from simple, self-deluding affirmations to outright lies and intentional deceit. However, none of these weak and miserable “justifications” can do much more to justify theft than planting thirty-seven purple thongs in your garden could do to make a money tree start growing out of your underwear drawer. Stealing is stealing, pure and simple.
The site in question tries to set itself apart from the standard, leech-mouthed parasitic blight of your average Internet jackhole by pretending to be some sort of net-based “library” that is merely “lending” comic books to its users, rather than supplying them with illegally duplicated copies. The site’s designers claim to have implemented “code” to “prevent” copying, which doesn’t really do what they say it does. I wonder if they are using the same dictionary that I am using, because in my world, the word prevent means “keep from happening”. From the web site’s own description:
Download of any of the material is not possible through the website presentation. Code is written to prevent such. To prevent download by users whom are savvy enough to have understanding of how to retrieve files from the cache of web pages, the structure is such that each comic overwrites the cache of the previous comic, hence; making copying as difficult as is reasonably possible.
I guess hitting the “Print Screen” button on your keyboard is unreasonably difficult then, because that’s all it takes to defeat the site’s inept preventative code. Download one of the many free screen capture tools floating around the Internet, and it’s even easier to quickly snag a copy of each file the site dishes up to its eager visitors. There’s no doubt that many people are doing just this sort of thing and helping themselves to locally-hosted copies of whatever comics they download from the site. However, I suspect that most people don’t bother with saving the files to their own hard drives – and why should they? The site is always there, and each comic is available twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. If someone wants to re-read an issue, it’s a matter of clicking the mouse a few times and the book is right there in front of their looking balls. There are no late fees to worry about, no sitting on a waiting list for the next available copy to be returned, and there’s no need to send the comic back after you’re done reading it. It’s less of a library in the sort of sense traditionally referred to as Common, and more of an on-demand service that just happens to not have any licensing agreements with any of the publishers and artists they’re ripping off.
So anyway, the guys behind this site boast about having developed some sort of system of automated scripts that will allow them to digitize and make available every item in the Library of Congress, from each transient periodical dictating dress code to fashionistas about what’s hot in 1987, to the thickest and most inscrutable tomes of Victorian-era pornography. This site aims to be your one-stop shop for everything ever published by anyone, ever – and it will do it all for free, out of the goodness of the owner’s own heart and with no desire to make any money whatsoever, despite that Google AdSense banner looming over the top of the page. Pay no attention to it…unless, that is, you want to click it.
It’s really a pretty good scam these guys have going on, when you stop and think about it. They themselves create nothing, pay for nothing and own nothing, yet they’re able to supply a huge and ever-expanding inventory of materials to its users. Who knows, they might even be able to find an attorney slimy enough to take their money and try to pass the flimsy Library Defense through a court of law. I wonder what the world would look like if they were allowed to get away with it – if, somehow, they were able to convince a judge that they are, in fact, merely acting as a library and not as an illegal distributor of copyrighted material…
Well, there would be an end to services like iTunes and Netflix and Zune, for starters. All of the legitimate on-demand services actually have to make deals and enter into agreements with the appropriate parties to provide someone else’s intellectual property to their customers, and that sort of thing costs money. Besides, it’s not as if their customers would hang around for very long after all of the content these services provide is suddenly legally available elsewhere for the always attractive price of Free. Later, the media companies would start imploding even more than they are now, as it grows progressively more difficult to get anyone to actually buy anything. The creative people behind everything you love would find their already meager bank accounts quickly dry up as new funding stops coming to in replenish their financial larders. To make ends meet, they’ll be forced to stop creating art and start flipping burgers, just to keep from starving. Later, once the professionals are gone and the world is at the mercy of the ridiculously dysfunctional meritocracy of the Internet (where popularity somehow indicates quality), Tolstoy will be rewritten by a college kid, and this time there will be dick jokes. Ten million hits, easy.
If you care for nothing else; if you don’t worry about a writer not being able to support his family or an artist having to abandon his career to get a job greeting mouthbreathers at Wal-Mart, then try giving a damn about the quality of what you’ll be consuming in a future world where copyright law has been abandoned and all “information” has become “free”. The professionals will be out of the game at that point, leaving art to the amateurs and the dabblers, the people who think that anyone can act because it’s just saying words, and that writing is easy ’cause they can spell good. If you want an idea of what the future of art and entertainment may look like under such conditions, try shutting off your television, putting down your books and switching off your iPod. Then, lock your browser in at YouTube and limit yourself to only the user-generated content. Don’t click the video clips from television programs or movies or music videos, and avoid anything professionally produced altogether. This will limit you to the future of amateur-created and populist-based entertainment. You know, stuff like this: the most viewed YouTube video of all time. I know it’s cute and all, but try imagining that this is the best you’re ever going to get. That cute kid biting that other cute kid represents the current pinnacle of achievement in user-generated content, and it’s all you have to look forward to in the brave new world of “free” information – all created, distributed and consumed by, for and of The Waterheads. This is as good as it gets, kiddos – and everything else is, well…
Actually, this whole thing gives me a great idea for a movie script! I can write a screenplay about a world turned upside down through the sudden inversion of the publishing process, where production and profit are transmogrified into repackaging and hit counters, and the Earth finds itself without its artists. It will be an apocalyptic tale, to be sure – one filled with swashbuckling adventure and heartbreaking heartbreak, where the good guys lose and the bad guys win and some other guys do some stuff that is interesting to someone, and there will be robots, cars and probably boobies. I will create the world’s first, best, and most viral summer blockbuster tentpole rollercoaster movie extravaganza ever!
The main character will be a YouTube star who climbs to the Number One spot after filming people hit him in the balls fifty-three times a day for a year, but who is now suffering from elephantiasis of the scrotum. His love interest will be a whimsical Asian girl from Japan’s Harajuku district, with blue eyes, pink hair and a cosplay fetish. However, the couple is tragically ripped apart suddenly and unexpectedly when, all of the sudden, our protagonist’s superstardom is threatened by the tragedy of an unexpected overnight YouTube sensation that topples his throne at the Number One top spot. Later, in the pivotal climax of the film, everyone is shocked after the shocking reveal that the Asian girl was actually a double agent working for the evil forces of an intergalactic empire who, it is dramatically revealed in a dramatic revelation, seeded the Earth with human life millions of years ago in anticipation of their eventual return to enslave their new slaves called Hu-Mans. However, the girl is actually a triple agent who is having an affair with one of the aliens, but she is secretly in love with another character who has super powers and no one suspects anything, and he can turn into a shark.
Then, there’s a surprise twist ending.
THIS IS THE FUTRE OF ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT! Now all I need to do is get a two-page synopsis into the hot little hands of a mover and shaker in Hollywood as quickly as possible, before all the Pros are out of business and earning their money by washing Charlie The Biter’s fleet of sports cars. Soon, I’ll be on my way to quick riches and unimaginable fame. I can’t lose!
NOTE:I know times are hard and yeah, I need to make a living too, but if you want to read any of my books but can't afford to buy them right now, hit me up.
I'll take care of it.
Humor | Nonfiction Available now from the following retailers
Have you ever lived through an experience that was so humiliating that you wanted to die, but when you tell it to all your friends, they can't stop laughing?
Have you ever made a decision that seemed like a good idea at the time, but you're still living with the hilarious consequences years later?
If so, then grab a snack, get comfortable, and prepare to have all of your own poor life choices seem just a little bit more bearable.
You're welcome.
Short Stories Available now from the following retailers
The nine stories of rage and sadness collected here range from the most intimate of human experiences to the wildest realms of magic and fantasy. The first story is a violent gut-punch to the soul, and the rest of them just hit harder from there.
Those who tough it out will find a book filled with as much hope as despair, a constant contradiction pulling you from one extreme to another.
Life might knock us down, over and over, and will the beat the ever-loving snot out of us from the time we're old enough to give it attitude until the day we finally let it win and stop getting up.
Always get back up.
Gaming | Nonfiction Available now from the following retailers
This isn't just a book. It's a portal to other worlds where there be magic and dragons and hilarious pirates. Okay, not really. But this book is about those portals, except they're called video games.
The Life Bytes series of books take a deep dive into one man's personal journey through childhood into kinda/sorta being a responsible, competent adult as told through the magical lens of whatever video games he was playing at the time.
Part One starts way back in 1975 and meanders down various digital pathways until, oh, around about 1993 or so.
If you're feeling nostalgic for the early days of gaming or if you just want to understand why the gamer in your life loves this hobby so much, take a seat in your favorite comfy chair and crack this bad boy open.
I'll try to not be boring.
Horror Available now from the following retailers
What you are about to read is not a story. There is no beginning, middle, or end.
What follows is nothing more than a series of journal entries involving shadow people, sleep paralysis, and crippling fear. It’s not pretty, it doesn’t follow story logic, and nothing works out well in the end.
The views and opinions expressed on this website, COQUETTING TARRADIDDLES, constitute a work of creative nonfiction, should not be interpreted as factual, and are solely of the individual author of this website, KRISTIAN BLAND, and are not the views of any other individual or organization, or of any individual or organization otherwise affiliated with the author unless explicitly stated within the content of the website.
Publishing Schedule
Coquetting Tarradiddles publishes new essays Whenever I Damn Well Feel Like It, except where prohibited by law.*
*Prices and participation may vary. Always consult a physician before beginning a new reading regimen. Individual results are not guaranteed. If you are pregnant or may become pregnant, do not handle past participles or wayward adverbs. Side effects may include an increase in intelligence followed by overwhelming waves of anger, frustration and rage, irritable bowels and/or various effronteries to good taste and decent folk everywhere. Ask your doctor if Coquetting Tarradiddles is right for you!
You must be logged in to post a comment.