I’m A Mighty Fiancé!

For those of you a little quicker on the uptake than others, you may have noticed all of the little hints I’ve been slipping into the blog lately. If not, I slipped a ring on Brittany’s finger last night. With me having already informally proposed, and with her having already informally accepted back around Christmas, I was pretty confident that I’d get a yes.

The only problem was that I wanted the proposal to be memorable, which meant that somehow I had to surprise her when she knew it was coming. When I first started trying to come up with ideas, I kept trying to come up with a lavish destination proposal. However, since I wanted to make things official sooner rather than later, and since both Brittany’s schedule and mine right now would keep us from being able to travel anywhere together for at least the next few months, I didn’t mind not being able to do a grand destination type of question popping. Instead, I went the opposite way: small and intimate…and just a little bit silly.

I just hope we never find out we’re cousins!

You regular readers out there already know that Brittany and I share a common love for the Monkey Island series. For any new readers that have just joined us, I suggest you either refer back to some older posts or just accept the following summary:

When Brittany and I first met each other and grew to be good friends, it came out that she not only knew what the heck Monkey Island was, but that some of the best memories she has from her childhood are of playing MI with her sister and her brother, who tragically passed away long before his time.

Tip For The Ladies #27,232 –
Lure your groom to the church with meat.

So here’s how the proposal went down. I knew the second I took her out to the nicest restaurant in town, that she’d immediately begin to suspect me. At first, this was frustrating because I wanted the proposal to be surprising and romantic. Eventually, though, I settled on a good compromise between the two. I would give her a very romantic evening, but I’d toy with her expectations by failing to actually deliver the question.

The plan worked well. All through dinner she waited for it and was disappointed. Then, through desert she anticipated and was unrewarded. Later, when we got home, I built a nice romantic fire on the backyard patio and we sat out there for a little while, just talking.

Every so often, I told her that I had a surprise for her. I’d make a big gesture of digging in my pockets so that she’d be expecting a ring box to emerge, but I only produced little gifts like some of her favorite candy or a romantic card. Eventually, I declared that I was all out of presents, and that we’d just sit by the fire for a while and cuddle.

Naturally, a few minutes later I proclaimed my boredom with the cuddling and whipped out Brittany’s Nintendo DS. She looked at me, slightly horrified at my annihilation of the romantic mood, but she reluctantly accepted it from me when I handed it to her, and she opened it up to see this:

She giggled and laughed the whole way through it as she recognized our different inside jokes and references. I tried to keep the same tone of Monkey Island 2’s intro, while changing everything up to make room for the setup and, eventually, The Question.

I sprinkled in a touch of Dr. Horrible’s Sing-A-Long Blog, a heaping tablespoon of Arrested Development, and a pinch of inside jokes, such as a reference to Gary Sinise’s overacted, “It’s Go Time!” exclamation in the pre-show video of the Mission To Space ride at Walt Disney World. (Why, exactly, this was funny to her remains a bit of a mystery, but when he shouted it out just before boarding, Brittany entered into a realm of hysterics I thought previously unattainable by human physiology.)

So anyway, there it is. I asked, and she said yes. I need to thank Monkey Island’s creator, Ron Gilbert, without whose help I couldn’t have done this. Of course, being a murderer of love, he didn’t help THAT much – but he did point me in the direction that led me to Alban Bedel, who created ScummC. He provided me with the tool I needed to get the job done (a command-line utility used in translations of SCUMM-based games), so he’s most directly responsible for my success. Thanks, guys!

Want some books? 'Course ya do!

NOTE:  I know times are hard and yeah, I need to make a living too, but if you want to read any of my books but can't afford to buy them right now, hit me up.

I'll take care of it.

Humor | Nonfiction
Available now from the following retailers

Have you ever lived through an experience that was so humiliating that you wanted to die, but when you tell it to all your friends, they can't stop laughing?

Have you ever made a decision that seemed like a good idea at the time, but you're still living with the hilarious consequences years later?

If so, then grab a snack, get comfortable, and prepare to have all of your own poor life choices seem just a little bit more bearable.

You're welcome.

Short Stories
Available now from the following retailers

The nine stories of rage and sadness collected here range from the most intimate of human experiences to the wildest realms of magic and fantasy. The first story is a violent gut-punch to the soul, and the rest of them just hit harder from there.

Those who tough it out will find a book filled with as much hope as despair, a constant contradiction pulling you from one extreme to another.

Life might knock us down, over and over, and will the beat the ever-loving snot out of us from the time we're old enough to give it attitude until the day we finally let it win and stop getting up.

Always get back up.

Gaming | Nonfiction
Available now from the following retailers

This isn't just a book. It's a portal to other worlds where there be magic and dragons and hilarious pirates. Okay, not really. But this book is about those portals, except they're called video games.

The Life Bytes series of books take a deep dive into one man's personal journey through childhood into kinda/sorta being a responsible, competent adult as told through the magical lens of whatever video games he was playing at the time.

Part One starts way back in 1975 and meanders down various digital pathways until, oh, around about 1993 or so.

If you're feeling nostalgic for the early days of gaming or if you just want to understand why the gamer in your life loves this hobby so much, take a seat in your favorite comfy chair and crack this bad boy open.

I'll try to not be boring.

Horror
Available now from the following retailers

What you are about to read is not a story. There is no beginning, middle, or end.

What follows is nothing more than a series of journal entries involving shadow people, sleep paralysis, and crippling fear. It’s not pretty, it doesn’t follow story logic, and nothing works out well in the end.

You've been warned.